Application Form to Date My Daughter

I got this from Pastor Paolo's blog.

This is so funny!  To my loving husband, Don, who squirm at the thought of Julia growing up, going to college and eventually dating and getting into a relationship with a man, this is for you.

Though we agreed that she will grow up in a family environment where there is trust and respect, I will keep this form in my file.  It may be useful someday, we'll never know :-)

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Love Covenant

Dear Julia,

LOVE is all about our reverence to Christ.

True love is not seen on the flowers, chocolates and gifts we give and receive.  It is not felt simply by spending time together or saying "I love you" everyday.  Love for one another is all about respect, humility and love for God.  You will experience and know more about love through us, we promise.  Your Daddy and I are not perfect, so there will be challenges as we grow as a family.  What is important is we know how to overcome them and learn from them.

Anyway, just last week, Daddy and I were talking about how fast you have grown since you were born.  We know that you will eventually live your own life and you won't need us as much.  Our role as your parents is to build a solid foundation for you.  So, here's our LOVE COVENANT:

We will hold your hand as you learn (and unlearn) and discover life.

We will walk with you in whatever path you will choose. 

It won't be easy, you will make mistakes.

We will pray to God, that he will protect you and keep you from harm.

We will be there with you as you grow

in your relationship with God.

We will insist on our rules on safety, education, friends, respect,

humility and family time.

We promise to discipline you.  It will hurt you and make you cry. 

You will even hate us for it.  But, trust us, it will make you a better person.

We will respect you and make your welfare our priority.

We will encourage you to read, meet new friends, 

play any sport you are interested in, learn arts & crafts and music.  

You may not have the latest gadgets like the other kids, but

your knowledge, creativity and social skills will be enriched.

We will have fun together.  We will create memories with you.

We will travel. We will visit parks and museums.

Soon (at age 32, according to Daddy), you will be celebrating Valentine's Day with someone.  For now, your date choices are limited:  Daddy, Mommy or both.  

Our love for you, little princess, is unconditional and forever.

Happy Valentine's Day,

Mommy

Our Three-Fold Job Description As Parents

Don and I attended a Parenting Workshop at Victory Fort as a pre-requisite to Julia's Child Dedication last April 2011.  One of the highlights of the seminar is the discussion about our job description as parents.

Here's an excerpt from our Parenting 101:  Heart of Parenting handout:


THE THREE-FOLD JOB DESCRIPTION OF PARENTS:

1. Parents as builders.
• Parents are to:
• Build spiritual foundations - Parents must follow the biblical blueprint, not family or cultural traditions.
• Build relationships - Discipline and training are almost impossible without relationship.  Having a relationship built on trust and love helps our children open themselves up for training.
• Build character - Skills and talents are important,  but character will outrun them anytime of the day.  Building the character of our kids requires a regular commitment, especially from the fathers.
• Build good memories - Memories are like cement that hold a child's character together.  Good memories provide a healthy and positive outlook in life.
2. Parents as watchmen.
• Parents must be aware of dangerous influences and relationships that could harm their children.  Parents must be attentive and discerning, especially regarding friends, music and entertainment.
• Parents must watch and guard the hearts of their children.  Parents are to watch what our children:
• See (Friends, Relationships, Movies, Videos, Computer Games, Internet, etc.)
• Hear (Entertainment, Music, Influences)
• Say (Condition of their Heart)
3. Parents as providers.
• Parents should provide the following:
• Physical Needs (physically present)
• Emotional Needs (emotionally present)
• Spiritual Needs (spiritual leadership) 

This made me realize that my day job is a lot easier than being a parent.  Every single day I worry about Julia.  Will she be well-mannered?  Will she grow up to be a kind, humble, generous and caring person?  Where will she study?  Will she be good in math?  (Coz I'm not!)  I have a long list of worries.

I think as parents, it is normal to worry about our children.  So, every day, I remind myself of Don's reply to my worries:  "Let's do our best as parents and trust God that He will ALWAYS protect her."

Quality Time

The most common dilemma of new working moms like me is how to manage time properly.  Things will not “just fall into place,” like what some people expect.  We need to make deliberate decisions to give time for what is important in our life.  You will have time if you allot time for it. 

Here are some activities we do to make sure we spend quality time with the family:

1.      Instead of driving separately, Don and I go to and from work together at least 4x a week.  The travel time from Quezon City to Bonifacio Global City (and vice versa) gives us enough opportunity to talk, argue, fight, laugh, etc.     

2.      No Cable TV inside our room.  We talk, argue, fight and laugh some more before going to sleep.  The TV and DVD is for Julia’s educational videos (oh but we sometimes sneak Modern Family and HIMYM re-runs into the DVD when Julia is asleepJ).  During early mornings and Sundays, we spend time reading and playing with Julia inside our room.

3.      Date night is a must and it’s not all about eating dinner or watching a movie.  It can be as simple as going to a grocery to buy household supplies, paying bills, (window) shopping, drinking coffee, attending a party, Bliss Hand and Feet Treatment, etc.  It doesn't matter how you spend it as long as you’re together.

4.      We share the bed with Julia.  She wakes up at 3-5am to drink her milk.  Luckily, most of the time, she sleeps again after.  If not, we make sure that either of us will spend time with her by playing with her toys or reading a book.

5.      Sunday is Julia’s day with Mommy and Daddy.  We take care of her and do some activities together.  This is also an opportunity for yaya and her grandmother to take some time off.

6.      Time-apart is as valuable as date night and Sundays with Julia.  We have activities that we do on our own.  I spend my me-time at Nail Spa, The Spa or I dine with my close friends.

Quality time is not just being together physically.  Sadly, I have seen families who dine together but are busy with their iPad, PSP, or phones.  No matter what the activities are, remember, communication builds relationships.  God-centered relationships build a happy home.

What other activities can you add to the list?

Co-Sleeping a Bad Idea?

Milwaukee Co-Sleeping Ad

“I don’t like this at all,” I said to myself when I saw this campaign ad of Milwaukee at Yahoo yesterday.  A knife?!  I felt like I was regarded as a murderer… a grave threat to my daughter’s life.

Eversince Julia was born, she sleeps in a crib beside our bed.  We were blessed to have friends who lent ustheir son’s Co-Sleeper – Arm’s Reach Bassinet,which Julia used when she was 0-4 months old. We transferred her to a bigger crib whenshe learned to turn on her own.  As soonas she could sit, we removed the crib and improvised the playpen by putting afirm Uratex foam.   At 7 months old untilnow, Julia would sleep through the night in her playpen-turned-crib and shewould share our bed after she drinks her milk at anytime between 330am to530am.

Ofcourse, Don and I discussed the potential risks of unsafe co-sleeping.  We also considered the problems that we mayencounter as she grows up.  Co-sleepingdoesn’t promote independence and it may significantly delay her learning to sleepon her own. 

However,at this point, considering that Don and I work 6 days a week and are out of thehouse for 12-15 hours a day, co-sleeping was a way to make up for lost time,build our intimacy with her and more importantly, strengthen our bond as afamily.

Goingback to the ad campaign, I got curious and started to Google about it.  The increase in infant mortality ratetriggered Milwaukee’scity health department to conceptualize and launch the provocative ad.  Based on the 2010 Fetal Infant Mortality Review Report of Milwaukee, 19%of the infant deaths were due to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), overlayor accidental suffocation. 

Here’sa summary of guidelines I read to provide a safe sleeping environment for ourbaby:

• Make your bed safe for your baby.
• Use a Queen or King size flat, firm and smooth mattress.
• Do not use waterbed, sofa, beanbag or any flexible and yielding structure.
• Make sure that there is no space between the mattress and headboard or the mattress and the wall, if placed against it.
• Do not use too may pillows and heavy blankets.
• Do not let your pets sleep on the same bed as your baby.

• If your baby sleeps in a crib, make sure it is placed directly beside your bed.

• Do not wear night clothes with strings, long ribbons, beads, etc.  Do not use strong perfume or lotion too as these may irritate the tiny nasal passages of the baby.

• Do not share the bed with your baby if you are:
• Sleep deprived due to exhaustion
• Under the influence of alcohol or illegal drugs
• Under medication that can affect sleeping patterns.
• Extremely Obese

Indeed, irresponsible execution of co-sleeping can cause the untimely death of an infant.  However, co-sleeping, when done properly and safely, can strengthen the emotional and spiritualconnection between you and your baby.  

For Don and I, the best part is waking beside a smiling baby every day. 

My references:  Kellymom What to Expect Huffington Post About.com  

Parenting Conference 2012

Don and I attended a Parenting Conference last November 12, 2011 at Victory Fort, Every Nation Building.  Pastor Steve Murrell with wife, Deborah and son, William were truly inspiring and "real".  I mean, they provided realistic and practical day-to-day ways to raise children in accordance to God's commandments.

We attended the conference with Mama Cita (Julia's grandmother).  After all, she spends a lot of time with Julia because Don and I work Mondays to Saturdays.

In just 4 hours, I learned a lot:


Christian living is a LIFESTYLE.  We can't teach it to our kids if they don't see it in us.

TIME is what our kids need the most. It is the RESPONSIBILITY of PARENTS to take care of their children.  Our extended family members and/or household help are there to ASSIST.

We can't control everything that our kids will do, say and decide on.  As parents, we must pick our battles.  Set standards that you will never compromise.  The Murrells list includes eating meals together, brothers must be best friends, just to name a few.  

William's talk inspired me the most.  His voice cracked when he declared to everyone that Steve and Deborah are great parents.  He shared four (4) "parenting" stories that made a great impact to who he is now.  Inspiring but made me want to pull my hair out because it scared the #$%^&*! out of me.  Parenting is difficult.  Though it comes naturally and instinctively, parenting is real hard work.  It's deliberate and consensus between husband and wife.

After the plenary,  we attended the 0-6 years age group for the break out session.  Pastor Carlos and Belle Antonio talked about two things about establishing influence to our children:

Influence the heart.  We must shepherd, instruct and guard the hearts of our children with God's truths.
Teach them to Obey.  Our children are never too little to know what is right and wrong.  Discipline is an act of love.  

I was reminded that our AUTHORITY as parents diminishes as our children grows old.  It is important that we INFLUENCE them to the right thing... to do only what pleases our God.

⁶These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.                                                        Deuteronomy 6:6-7

Quezon Memorial Circle

Last October 31, 2011, Don took us to Quezon Memorial Circle.  He didn't tell me where we were going because he knew I would vehemently disagree.

I muttered my discomfort as we walked towards the park area.  I was about to do a 180-degree turn when I saw and smelled the garbage truck.  So, we immediately detoured to the nearest park attraction, the "Pedal and Paddle" area.

It is similar (but bigger) to the Road Safety Mobile Park of Toyota in Robinson's Sta. Rosa (Mommy Journey blog). We wanted to take Julia for a spin in a 3-wheel bicycle, but obviously they didn't allow us for safety reasons.  I was disappointed but I was impressed that their safety guidelines are strictly implemented.  They were even announcing through their PA system the bike numbers that were over speeding.  There were road safety signage and proper pedestrian walkway.

Right across "Pedal and Paddle" was the "Circle of Joy" play area.

Julia would've enjoyed playing there but we decided not to let her because it was unclean. Trash was everywhere and it looked like the life-size version of Little Tikes needed a lot of scrubbing .

I would like to go back to Quezon Memorial.  It's free and has a lot of attractions for Julia.  I just hope QC  will invest in making it a more clean and pleasant playground for children.

Boo!

Preparing for Julia's 1st Trick or Treat was fun but deliberate.  We had a few considerations:

• Because Julia is prone to prickly heat, her costume should not be too tight and full of lace.  We thought it would be difficult but we found the perfect outfit for her!  A bumble bee costume (which was her dad's idea, by the way) from the Bumblebee and Company!  It's a sleeveless onesies with wings and black cloth shoes.  We thought the head gear would make her sweat but the weather cooperated and Julia wore it for 2 straight hours!

Julia was awarded "Best in Costume" in the little girls category

• The venue should not be too crowded.  Julia is only 8 months old, she's too young to participate in huge Halloween events sponsored by malls.  So, Julia participated in the Gymboree Serendra's Trick or Treat activity.  The fee (P1,000 for non members and P800 for members) was all worth it because:
1. The venue was air-conditioned and had a play area.
2. The fee was inclusive of a 2-hour games and fun activities for participants.
3. The event was limited to 20 participants only.
4. Food for kids is provided.
5. Free use of the gym play area after the event.
6. Teachers at Gymboree spearheaded the trick or treat-ing in various stores at Serendra and Bonifacio High Street.  Participants were given priority over other kids!

• The event should be on a Sunday afternoon.

Julia had fun but Don and I enjoyed it too!  Now, what to do with all the candies?!  

Sundays Reinvented

Don and I look forward to Sundays.  Recently, we changed our Sunday schedule when Julia turned 7 months old.

Though it requires waking up early, we love starting our Sundays with worship and praises for our Lord.

With daddy during Pastor Jeff's preaching.

After, we eat brunch and then proceed to Julia's place for exercise and practice... Gymboree Play and Music!

At 6 months, Julia can control her head and neck very well.  She can already sit upright comfortably and demonstrates hand gestures like clapping, slapping, picking up and dropping her toys, spoon or anything she can grab.

Julia learned to stand up in her crib before she was able to crawl properly.  We own a small house and Julia doesn't have enough space to practice crawling and soon, walking.  So at 7 months old, Don and I decided to have a one-hour "practice session" for Julia at Gymboree Shangri-la Mall every Sunday.

The expensive one year membership (optional) gym play sessions was worth it.  Seeing Julia crawl, stand and having fun is incomparable to any amount!

The rest of the day includes nap time, afternoon stroll and lots of giggling.  Priceless.

HMO Coverage - Why I value this benefit?

I have never fully maximized my HMO coverage (hey, I am not complaining!) as an employment benefit.  Neither have Don.  Until Julia came along. 

Don has an extensive health care benefit coverage with an HMO. His employer not only covers the employee, they also extend it to the employee's dependents. So, when I gave birth, the hospital bill was barely P3,000. And that amount was to cover extra pillows, binders and other extras to make my stay more comfortable. Had we not availed them, we will not be paying a single cent.



After Julia was born, I have regrets about not being able to breastfeed longer.  Aside from the health benefits of breast milk to Julia, we missed out on the supposed savings on formula milk (We pay P930 for a can of milk every 5 days!). However, we surely saved a lot in medical expenses because of Julia's health care benefits as Don's dependent.

Imagine, I only pay P50 for her pedia consultation. Most of the vaccines needed for Julia are free. Oh and to add icing on the cake, because Don works for a pharmaceutical company, Julia's vitamins and medicines (specifically for her allergic rhinitis) are free or are bought at an employee price.

The key is not to marry a pharmacist who works for a pharmaceutical company that has an extensive health care benefit (*wink*). Here are some pointers on how to maximize your health care plans:

• Before you give birth, review the health care benefits provided by your (or your husband's) employer.

• Inquire form your HR Department the requirements you need to submit to enroll your newborn as your (or your husband's) dependent.  

• Almost always, they require for a photocopy of your child's birth certificate.  Some companies require the NSO-authenticated birth certificate because they need this to enroll your child as a dependent or beneficiary in SSS, Philhealth and PAG-IBIG.  The NSO-authenticated birth certificate is available 3-4 months after giving birth.

• You may visit the business center of any SM (P150 per copy but will take 3-4 weeks processing time) or request online at www.ecensus.com.ph (P350 per copy and delivered through courier in 3-5 days). 

• If your health care benefit includes full coverage of a dependent, inquire from your HR Department or HMO Coordinator the complete list of medical benefits that you may avail:

• Preventive Care (annual physical examination, routine immunization, dental, etc.)

• Out-Patient Care (consultations, treatment of minor injuries, laboratory tests, etc.)

• In-Patient / Hospitalization Care (room accommodations, covered procedures and illnesses, etc.)  

• Emergency Care

• Other Additional Benefits (some employers have unique medical benefits for their employees, which are not offered by HMOs to other companies)

• If your health care benefit includes coverage of a dependent but on your expense, inquire from your HR Department the amount you need to pay for your child's health care coverage.  It will be cheaper if you get a coverage under your company's health care plan rather than getting a separate plan of your own.

• Negotiate for payment terms and salary deduction facilities.  Of course, you must respect company policies that's why it is essential that you know these things prior to giving birth so that you can prepare for it. 

• Remember, your health care benefits are not only for hospitalization and emergency care.  Discuss with your pediatrician (who should be accredited by your HMO) the health care benefits of your employer so she/he can help you maximize the preventive care benefits of your coverage.

• Be familiar with with your preventive care exclusions, too.  Some vaccines are common exclusions.  Make sure you know what these are so that you come prepared when your child's pediatrician will require it.   

• Do not throw away the guidebook provided by your HMO.  It contains the 24-hour hotline number, procedures and lists of accredited doctors, clinics, and hospitals. 

By knowing your benefit, you are able to save money on most of your preventive care needs and more importantly, you are able to sleep well at night knowing that you child is protected with a health care plan.

Half time!

I am always nervous every time we visit Julia's pediatrician, Dr. Joan Millonado.  At the vital signs area where the nurse will get Julia's weight, I always dread hearing that Julia did not gain weight or worse, lost a few grams.  So far, its all pluses, she is actually on the maximum limit now for her age.  So, I hope she maintains it as obesity is a common health concern for formula-fed babies like Julia.

In Julia's first 3 months of existence, her routine is simple and predictable.  Sleep, drink milk, take a bath, drink vitamins, milk, sleep. Then it became apparent that she has allergic rhinitis and skin asthma.  Thanks to our healthy genes (feel the sarcasm), she has inherited this from us.  Anyway, at 4 to 5 months, her routine has changed, but still predictable.  Alnix and use of a nebulizer sadly made it to the list however, lots of laughs and giggles were a welcome addition.


Now that Julia is 6 months old, she eats solid food and needs to increase water intake.  Her sleep pattern varies.  When she is awake, most of the time is spent rolling over, bouncing up and down, giggling, and happily practicing making sounds.

As a working mom, I don't witness all of Julia's activities.  I rely on amusing stories from my mother-in-law and Julia's yaya.  So, aside from knowing what to say everytime Julia's pediatrician will ask, its also my responsibility to monitor my daughter's development and growth.

In any HR project, I use tables for monitoring timelines and work activities.  So, here's what I came up with for Julia:


Jaecel, my HR colleague, said "wiwi" should be "wee-wee".  I just told her it won't fit in the column.  Hahaha!

I honestly cannot afford the ready-made books/notebooks that are being sold in Multipy.  Instead of spending P1,500.00, I decided to be resourceful and simple.  With the help of Yaya Lani, I hope to do this consistently.    After all, its the content that matters.

Sundays

Julia doesn't go out often because Don and I work from Monday - Saturday.  We always tell her that Sunday is her day. 

Our Sunday routine is simple.  We wake up early and bring Julia to UP Diliman.  She loves to embrace her dad as they stroll the UP Academic Oval.  UP is runner-biker-family friendly during Sundays.  They close a portion of the oval for runners and bikers.  They also open the sunken garden for family picnics and get togethers... for free!

Julia at 3 months, strolling in UP Diliman with Daddy.

Just recently, we re-discovered a beautiful park where we can bring Julia.  Fort Santiago at Intramuros, Manila.  Re-discovered because Don and I used to go there before when we wanted a quiet, cheap date.  We would buy McDonald's and stay there for 2-3 hours.  Anyway, we went there and Julia couldn't stop giggling.   Her eyes were everywhere!  The trees, flowers and landscape are beautiful!  Just pay P75.00 at the entrance and you may already enjoy the park.

Though we bring her to the mall, we want her to appreciate the simple things in life...  fresh air, beautiful trees and flowers and more importantly, to spend quality time with family.  I have seen families together at malls, couple on their mobile phones all the time while the children are busy with their PSP or iPad.  Quality time with family is not all about being physically together.  Its about doing things together and communicating. 

Going back to Sunday routine..  after UP Diliman, we go home to prepare for church.  We attend the 2pm service at Victory Fort.  Even at a young age, we want Julia to know God.  As Christians, we want her to be close to our Father.  

Julia is part of the Victory Kid's Ministry at 1 month old.

How we spend the rest of the day depends on what we feel like doing.  We sometimes visit family and friends, do some errands (paying bills, grocery, etc.) or just stay home as long as we are together.

A lot of friends tell us that we should enjoy our time with Julia while she is young.  Kids grow up fast and before we know it, she'll be old enough to make her own decisions.  Don and I are honestly scared.  We worry about the kind of friends she will hang out with, the type of sports or hobby she will engage in, the course she will take in college, the list is endless. 

Until that day finally comes, Don and I will make sure that we build the right foundation for her to grow up as good Christian.